Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot is the 20th episode of season 4. It aired on April 16, 2007.

Summary[edit | edit source]

Judith's and Herb's wedding is taking place soon, and Alan is looking forward to it; Charlie and Herb's sister, Myra, continue their relationship. Also, Jake repeatedly gets his tuxedo dirty.

Plot[edit | edit source]

Alan's dream of freedom is about to come true now his ex Judith is getting remarried to Herb. He worries that Charlie, who is having sex with Herb's sister, Myra, will somehow ruin it for him again. Getting Jake prepared for the ceremony is just a dirty routine problem as he keeps getting his new tux covered in food. Charlie takes Myra to a bunch of tourist attractions and tours. Charlie states that this relationship isn't all about sex and thinks it might work out. Myra wants Charlie to be her date, which he agrees to. After talking with Berta if it'll go somewhere, Charlie reconsiders Alan call Herb to tell him to tell Judith Myra can bring who she wants. Judith then calls Alan and he says the same thing. Charlie walks in and says he's not going and Alan, relieved, calls Judith back saying he talked him out of it. Charlie talks with Myra who's okay with it and unintentionally, she convinces him to attend. At the wedding, Alan meets Herb's ex wife and the get along. Charlie stands in for the sick relative who was to walk bridesmaid Myra to the altar, just to infuriate Judith. When walking with Myra, she reveals she has a boyfriend back home who's also her fiancee. Charlie accidentally yells, so Judith now knows he came. Alan makes out with Herb's ex, who wants revenge sex yet Alan tries to avoid it. The ex then says it will happen with or without Alan, confusing him. While the hall is silent, the ex holds the door while Alan tries to leave, and she yells to make them think they're doing it. Alan escapes and barges in trying to tell the truth, embarrassing himself. Charlie, Alan and Jake sit in the dark with Charlie and Alan thinking about the how things went wrong for them at the wedding. Jake offers them shrimp he took from the reception that he put in his shirt pocket. They just take one and continue sitting in the dark in complete silence.

Cast[edit | edit source]

Quotes[edit | edit source]

  • Alan: What is that?

  • Herb: Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you.

  • Shannon: Excuse me. Are you Judith's ex-husband?
  • Alan: Uh, yeah, yeah, I was just dropping off our son. I'm sorry, do I know you?
  • Shannon: Oh, no, not... really, it's...Herb and I were engaged before he met Judith, so...
  • Alan: And you're coming to his wedding?
  • Shannon: Yeah, well, we're still friends.
  • Alan: Oh. Well, how very... California of you.
  • Shannon: Well, I wish him the best.
  • Alan: Mm.
  • Shannon: I have to tell you, though, based on first impressions, I'm not sure that Judith is trading up.
  • Alan: Oh. Thank you. (laughs) Uh, and having just met you, I feel safe in saying that Herb's not getting an upgrade, either.
  • Shannon: (laughs)
  • (organ playing)
  • Jake: Oh, man!
  • Charlie: Nice dress.
  • Myra: Bite me.
  • Charlie: Okay. Meet me in the coatroom.
  • Myra: (Laughs) Listen, after the reception, can you take me to the airport?
  • Charlie: You're flying home tonight?
  • Myra: Yeah.
  • Charlie: I thought we had something going here.
  • Myra: We did, and now I'm going home.
  • Charlie: Okay. Maybe I can come visit you sometime.
  • Myra: Ooh, I don't think my boyfriend would like that very much.
  • Charlie: Your boyfriend?
  • Myra: He's more like a fiancé.
  • Charlie: You're getting married?!
  • (organ playing "Wedding March")
  • Charlie (whispers): Why didn't you tell me you were engaged?
  • Myra: I thought it would be awkward.
  • Charlie (loudly): Awkward?!
  • Minister: You may be seated.
  • Alan: Mm, ow. We-we really shouldn't be doing this.
  • Shannon: Why not? They broke our hearts.
  • Alan: Uh, yeah, but I'm kind of over it.
  • Shannon: I'm not.
  • Alan: Mm, mm, uh, hang on, hang on. Maybe we could go out for coffee first. Or-or a movie.
  • Shannon: Alan, this is gonna happen with you or without you.
  • Alan: "With me or--" how does that work?
  • Minister: The institution of marriage is not one to enter lightly, so we pause at this time to consider the depth of that commitment.
  • (loud clattering)
  • Shannon: Oh, Alan Harper, you animal!
  • (clattering continues)
  • Shannon: Oh, God! Alan Harper! Oh, God! Oh, don't stop, Alan Harper! Please don't stop! Oh, Alan Harper, I feel like a woman again!
  • Alan Harper: I'm Alan Harper, and I'm not having sex!

Title quotation from[edit | edit source]

Jake, as he complains about Alan waking up four times to go to the toilet.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Last appearance of Myra.
Two and a Half Men Episodes
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Season 2
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