Episodes

• 
  A Bag Full of Jawea
• 
  A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
• 
  A Big Bag of Dog
• 
  A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
• 
  A Chic Bar in Ibiza
• 
  A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
• 
  A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
• 
  A Good Time in Central Africa
• 
  A Jock Strap In Hell
• 
  A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
• 
  A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
• 
  A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
• 
  A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
• 
  A Lungful of Alan
• 
  A Possum on Chemo
• 
  A Pot Smoking Monkey
• 
  A Pudding-Filled Cactus
• 
  A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
• 
  Above Exalted Cyclops
• 
  Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
• 
  Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
• 
  Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
• 
  Alan Shot a Little Girl
• 
  Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
• 
  An Old Flame With A New Wick
• 
  And the Plot Moistens
• 
  Another Night With Neil Diamond
• 
  Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'
• 
  Apologies for the Frivolity
• 
  Arguments for the Quickie
• 
  Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats
• 
  Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
• 
  Avoid The Chinese Mustard
• 
  Aye, Aye, Captain Douche

• 
  Bad News from the Clinic
• 
  Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
• 
  Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
• 
  Best H.O. Money Can Buy
• 
  Big Episode. Someone Stole A Spoon
• 
  Big Flappy Bastards
• 
  Big Girls Don't Throw Food
• 
  Bite Me, Supreme Court
• 
  Boompa Loved His Hookers
• 
  Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey

• 
  Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
• 
  Camel Filters And Pheromones
• 
  Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
• 
  Can You Feel My Finger?
• 
  Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
• 
  Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
• 
  Castrating Sheep in Montana
• 
  Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
• Category:Christmas episodes
• 
  City of Great Racks
• 
  Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
• 
  Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
• 
  Crude and Uncalled For

• 
  Damn You, Eggs Benedict
• 
  David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
• 
  Dead from the Waist Down
• 
  Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
• 
  Did You Check With The Captain Of The Flying Monkeys?
• 
  Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
• 
  Don't Worry, Speed Racer
• 
  Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

• 
  Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
• 
  Ergo, The Booty Call

• 
  Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
• 
  Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
• 
  Ferrets, Attack!
• 
  Fish in a Drawer
• 
  For The Sake of The Child
• 
  For Whom the Booty Calls
• 
  Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
• 
  Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
• 
  Frodo's Headshots

• 
  Give Me Your Thumb
• 
  Give Santa a Tail-Hole
• 
  Glamping in a Yurt
• 
  Go East On Sunset Until You Reach The Gates Of Hell
• 
  Go Get Mommy's Bra
• 
  Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
• 
  Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
• 
  Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
• 
  Grab A Feather And Get In Line
• 
  Grandma's Pie
• 
  Gumby with a Pokey

• 
  He Smelled The Ham, He Got Excited
• 
  Hello, I am Alan Cousteau
• 
  Help Daddy Find His Toenail
• 
  Here I Come, Pants!
• 
  Hey, I Can Pee Outside In The Dark
• 
  Hi, Mr. Horned One
• 
  Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
• 
  How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
• 
  Humiliation is a Visual Medium

• 
  I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
• 
  I Called Him Magoo
• 
  I Can't Afford Hyenas
• 
  I Found Your Moustache
• 
  I Merely Slept with a Commie
• 
  I Remember The Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
• 
  I Scream When I Pee
• 
  I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
• 
  I Think You Offended Don
• 
  I'd Like to Start with the Cat
• 
  If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going To Take A Nap
• 
  If My Hole Could Talk
• 
  If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
• 
  Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
• 
  It Never Rains in Hooterville
• 
  It Was Mame, Mom
• 
  It's Always Nazi Week
• 
  Ixnay On The Oggie Day

• 
  Just Like Buffalo
• 
  Just Once With Aunt Sophie
• 
  Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants

• 
  Keith Moon Is Vomiting In His Grave
• 
  Kinda Like Necrophilia
• 
  Kissing Abraham Lincoln

• 
  Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
• 
  Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
• 
  Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
• 
  Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
• 
  Lookin' for Japanese Subs
• 
  Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
• 
  Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

• 
  Madame and Her Special Friend
• 
  Meander to Your Dander
• 
  Media Room Slash Dungeon
• 
  Merry Thanksgiving
• 
  Mmm, fish. Yum.
• 
  Mr. Hose Says "Yes"
• 
  Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
• 
  Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
• 
  My Bodacious Vidalia
• 
  My Damn Stalker
• 
  My Doctor Has A Cow Puppet
• 
  My Son's Enormous Head
• 
  My Tongue Is Meat

• 
  Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
• 
  Nine Magic Fingers
• 
  No Sniffing, No Wowing
• 
  Not In My Mouth!
• 
  Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer

• 
  Of Course He's Dead
• 
  Oh, Wald-e, Good Times Ahead
• 
  On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
• 
  One False Move, Zimbabwe!
• 
  One Nut Johnson
• 
  Oontz, Oontz, Oontz
• 
  Ow, Ow, Don't Stop

• 
  Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
• 
  Palmdale, Ech
• 
  People Who Love Peepholes
• 
  Phase One, Complete
• 
  Pie Hole, Herb
• 
  Pilot
• 
  Pinocchio's Mouth
• 
  Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
• 
  Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

• 
  Release the Dogs
• 
  Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
• 
  Rough Night in Hump Junction
• 
  Round One To The Hot Crazy Chick
• 
  Run, Steven Staven! Run!

• 
  Santa's Village of the Damned
• 
  Sarah Like Puny Alan
• Category:Season Finale
• Category:Season premieres
• 
  Sex With an Animated Ed Asner
• 
  She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
• 
  Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
• 
  Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
• 
  Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
• 
  Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
• 
  Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
• 
  Slowly and In A Circular Fashion
• 
  Smell the Umbrella Stand
• 
  Smooth as a Ken Doll
• 
  Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
• 
  Something My Gynecologist Said
• 
  Something Salted and Twisted
• 
  Springtime on a Stick
• 
  Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

• 
  Tazed In The Lady Nuts
• 
  Thank God for Scoliosis
• 
  Thank You For The Intercourse
• 
  That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
• 
  That Special Tug
• 
  That Voodoo That I Do Do
• 
  That Was Saliva, Alan
• 
  That's Not What They Call It In Amsterdam
• 
  That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
• 
  That's Why They Call It "Ball Room"
• 
  The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
• 
  The 9:04 From Pemberton
• 
  The Crazy Bitch Gazette
• 
  The Devil's Lube
• 
  The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack