Two and a Half Men Wiki
Two and a Half Men Wiki

Don't Give a Monkey a Gun is the 14th episode of Season 12, and the penultimate episode of the series. It aired on CBS on February 12, 2015.

Summary[]

After they sign their divorce papers, Walden offers Alan the gift of his choice, but when Alan chooses something selfish and impractical, it puts his relationship with Lyndsey on the line.

Plot[]

As both couples are getting along together, Walden decides he wants to get divorced from Alan and move on. Walden gives Alan a wish because he was such a good friend in helping him adopt Louis. Alan gets a Ferrari, which makes Lindsey mad, as both she and Walden think Alan should have wished for something that included Lyndsey. Alan decides to propose to Lindsey — especially after Walden offers to buy the engagement ring. Walden in turn offers nothing but support, but then panics that he might truly end up alone if he lets Alan move out. Alan proposes and Lyndsey at first balks, but she happily says yes upon seeing the huge diamond in the ring.

Cast[]

Quotes[]

  • Alan: I'm about to have breakfast with my lover, my ex-lover and ny husband. Dear God. I'm turning into my mother.
  • Lyndsay: To be fair, she slept with a lot more women.
  • (Alan and Walden stare)

---

  • Alan: Lyndsey Ruth Anne McElroy...
  • Lyndsey: What are you doing?
  • Alan: The right thing for once. I've been in a lot of relationships Oh, three of whom are at this table. But none of them even come close to what we have. From the moment I met you, I knew you were too good for me.
  • Lyndsey: Oh, that's so sweet. And so true.
  • Alan: Walden asked me to pick anything in the world that I wanted, and I pick you. Ah. Will you marry me?
  • Lyndsey: That is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me, but I hope you didn't do anything as silly as waste your wish on ring ... (Alan shows Lyndsey a ring) (Gasps) I'm a princess! I'm a pretty, pretty princess! (yells) Is that a yes? Yes! Ah! (laughs)

  • Walden: In fact Ms. McMartin, will you?

  • Lyndsey: I'm so happy. This is really a new beginning.
  • Alan: It is.

Title Quotation From[]

Walden, referring to how he gave Alan too much power by selecting anything he wanted.

Guest Starring[]

Two and a Half Men Episodes
Season 1
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Season 2
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Season 6
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Season 8
Three Girls and a Guy Named BudA Bottle of Wine and a JackhammerA Pudding-Filled CactusHookers, Hookers, HookersThe Immortal Mr. Billy JoelTwanging Your Magic ClangerThe Crazy Bitch GazetteSpringtime on a StickA Good Time in Central AfricaOw, Ow, Don't StopDead from the Waist DownChocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's DeadSkunk, Dog Crap and KetchupLookin' for Japanese SubsThree Hookers and a Philly CheesesteakThat Darn Priest
Season 9
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Season 10
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Season 11
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Season 12
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