Two and a Half Men Wiki

Gumby with a Pokey is the 21st episode of Season 7. It originally aired on May 17, 2010.


Charlie finds himself with insomnia, and is given prescription marijuana by his pharmacist Russell to help him sleep. After smoking it with Berta, Charlie has disturbing visions of women from his past; Alan and Jake drive to Sacramento to pick up a valuable antique grandfather clock left to Alan by Judith's recently deceased grandfather. While riding home in the car, the clock falls out of Alan's trunk and smashes in to pieces, making his and Jake's trip futile.


Guest Starring


  • (Charlie & Berta laughing)
  • Charlie: Do it again.
  • Berta: No, no.
  • Charlie: Do it again. Oh, come on, please. Do it again. Do it again.
  • Berta: All right, all right. Last time. 
  • Charlie: All right.
  • Berta(la federale): Badges? We don't  need no stinkin' badges!
  • Charlie: Okay, okay, I got one. I got one. (La Karl from Sling Blade) Mm. Some folks call it a sling blade. I call it a kaiser blade. Mm. (Laughing) I like them French fried taters. Mmm.
  • Berta: Oh, good idea.
  • Charlie: Where you going?
  • Berta: To the pier to get some of them French fried taters.
  • Charlie: No, Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I love you, Berta.
  • Berta: I love you, too, Charlie. Give me a thousand dollars.
  • Charlie: Why?
  • Berta: Well, if you have to ask, you don't really love me.
  • Charlie: Oh, oh, and-and pretzels! Get so e pretzels!
  • Berta( off-screen): Pretzels? We don't need no stink in' pretzels!
  • Charlie: (chuckles) Oh, man, I'm so lucky to have her in my life.
  • Chelsea: You've had a lot of wonderful women in your life. But you always find a way to sabotage the relationship.
  • Charlie: Chelsea?
  • Mia: She's right, Charlie. If there's a way it can be blown, you'll blow it. And not in the fun way.
  • Charlie: Mia?
  • Chelsea: Tell me something, Charlie. Do you think your inability to commit and all your macho posturing is because deep down, you're afraid you're gay?
  • Mia: You know, I've wondered that, too. Are you just a big oil' 'mo?
  • Lydia: He's not a 'mo. He's got mommy issues. Lots and lots of mommy issues
  • Charlie: Lydia! Hey, it's Lydia.
  • Evelyn: Excuse me. Why does everyone blame the mother? Frankly, I think you we're more on target with that homo theory.
  • Charlie: Okay, I don't want to be high anymore!

  • Charlie: Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
  • Chloe: How many times has that been said in this bed?
  • Linda Harris: Or in this chair?
  • Isabella: Or all over that rug?
  • Leanne: On the balcony looking at the ocean?
  • Inga: (speaking Polish/In the shower looking at the drain)
  • Charlie: You're not here! You're not here! None of you are here!
  • Emily: Wow. so this is the bedroom.
  • Chrissy: I never got past the couch.
  • Emily: What are you compaining about? I never got out of the car
  • Betsy: He did me in a little church i Van Nuys. Right in the pew.
  • Gabrielle: I would never let him do me in the pew.
  • Dolores Pasternak: He dumped me when I said "I love you."
  • Paulina: He dumped me when he saw my penis.
  • Danielle: Me, too.
  • Dolores Pasternak: And he never called me again.
  • Leanne: Why, Charlie?
  • Dolores Pasternak: Why didn't you call?
  • All: (women claoring) Why, didn't you call me Charlie?
  • Charlie: I was busy. I lost your number! I as out of town! You had a penis? You, I don't know what that thing was!


  • ZZ Top guest stars as themselves.
  • This is Rose's first and only appearance in Season 7.
  • This is the first episode where several of Charlie's ex-girlfriends are seen in one room. They are seen again at his funeral in Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt.
  • Judith does not appear in this episode.

Title quotation from

Russell, Charlie's pharmacist, describing the effects of Viagra taken with a muscle relaxant.

Two and a Half Men Episodes
Season 1
PilotBig Flappy BastardsGo East On Sunset Until You Reach The Gates Of HellIf I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going To Take A NapThe Last Thing You Want To Do Is Wind Up With A HumpDid You Check With The Captain Of The Flying Monkeys?If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually FakeTwenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without A Snoot-fulPhase One, CompleteMerry ThanksgivingAlan Harper, Frontier ChiropractorCamel Filters And PheromonesSarah Like Puny AlanI Can't Afford HyenasRound One To The Hot Crazy ChickThat Was Saliva, AlanAte The Hamburgers, Wearing The HatsAn Old Flame With A New WickI Remember The Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember YouHey, I Can Pee Outside In The DarkNo Sniffing, No WowingMy Doctor Has A Cow PuppetJust Like BuffaloCan You Feel My Finger?
Season 2
Back Off, Mary PoppinsEnjoy Those Garlic BallsA Bag Full of JaweaGo Get Mommy's BraBad News from the ClinicThe Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal VigilanceA Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in FontanaFrankenstein and the Horny VillagersYes, MonsignorThe Salmon Under My SweaterLast Chance to See Those TattoosA Lungful of AlanZejdz z Moich Wlosów a.k.a. Get Off My HairThose Big Pink Things With CoconutsSmell the Umbrella StandCan You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!It Was Mame, MomA Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping NoiseI Always Wanted a Shaved MonkeyA Sympathetic Crotch to Cry OnThat Old Hose Bag Is My MotherSquab, Squab, Squab, Squab, SquabDoes This Smell Funny to You?
Season 3
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic GymnastsPrincipal Gallagher's Lesbian LoverCarpet Burns and a Bite MarkYour Dismissive Attitude Toward BoobsWe Called It Mr. PinkyHi, Mr. Horned OneSleep Tight, Puddin' PopThat Voodoo That I Do DoMadame and Her Special FriendSomething Salted and TwistedSanta's Village of the DamnedThat Special TugHumiliation is a Visual MediumLove Isn't Blind, It's RetardedMy Tongue Is MeatErgo, The Booty CallThe Unfortunate Little SchnauserThe Spit-Covered CobblerGolly Moses, She's a MuffinAlways a Bridesmaid, Never a BurroAnd the Plot MoistensJust Once With Aunt SophieArguments for the QuickieThat Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Season 4
Working for CaligulaWho's Vod Kanockers?The Sea is a Harsh MistressA Pot Smoking MonkeyA Live Woman of Proven FertilityApologies for the FrivolityRepeated Blows to His Unformed HeadRelease the DogsCorey's Been Dead for an HourKissing Abraham LincolnWalnuts and DemerolCastrating Sheep in MontanaDon't Worry, Speed RacerThat's Summer Sausage, Not SalamiMy Damn StalkerYoung People Have Phlegm TooI Merely Slept with a CommieIt Never Rains in HootervilleSmooth as a Ken DollAunt Myra Doesn't Pee a LotTucked, Taped and GorgeousMr. McGlue's FeedbagAnteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'Prostitutes and Gelato
Season 5
Large Birds, Spiders and MomMedia Room Slash DungeonDum Diddy Dum Diddy DooCity of Great RacksPutting Swim Fins on a CatHelp Daddy Find His ToenailThe Leather Gear Is in the Guest RoomIs There a Mrs. Waffles?Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar LidsKinda Like NecrophiliaMeander to Your DanderA Little Clammy and None Too FreshThe Soil is MoistWinky-Dink TimeRough Night in Hump JunctionLook at Me, Mommy, I'm PrettyFish in a DrawerIf My Hole Could TalkWaiting for the Right Snapper
Season 6
Taterhead is Our Love ChildPie Hole, HerbDamn You, Eggs BenedictThe Flavin' and the Mavin'A Jock Strap In HellIt's Always Nazi WeekBest H.O. Money Can BuyPinocchio's MouthThe Mooch At The BooHe Smelled The Ham, He Got ExcitedThe Devil's LubeThank God for ScoliosisI Think You Offended DonDavid Copperfield Slipped Me a RoofieI'd Like to Start with the CatShe'll Still Be Dead at HalftimeThe 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?My Son's Enormous HeadThe Two Finger RuleHello, I am Alan CousteauAbove Exalted CyclopsSir Lancelot's Litter BoxGood Morning, Mrs. ButterworthBaseball Was Better With Steroids
Season 7
818-jklpuzoWhipped Unto The Third GenerationMmm, fish. Yum.Laxative Tester, Horse InseminatorFor The Sake of The ChildGive Me Your ThumbUntainted by FilthGorp. Fnark. Schmegle.Captain Terry's Spray-On HairThat's Why They Call It "Ball Room"Warning, It's DirtyFart Jokes, Pie and CelesteYay, No Polyps!Crude and Uncalled ForAye, Aye, Captain DoucheTinkle Like a PrincessI Found Your MoustacheIxnay On The Oggie DayKeith Moon Is Vomiting In His GraveI Called Him MagooGumby with a PokeyThis Is Not Gonna End Well
Season 8
Three Girls and a Guy Named BudA Bottle of Wine and a JackhammerA Pudding-Filled CactusHookers, Hookers, HookersThe Immortal Mr. Billy JoelTwanging Your Magic ClangerThe Crazy Bitch GazetteSpringtime on a StickA Good Time in Central AfricaOw, Ow, Don't StopDead from the Waist DownChocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's DeadSkunk, Dog Crap and KetchupLookin' for Japanese SubsThree Hookers and a Philly CheesesteakThat Darn Priest
Season 9
Nice to Meet You, Walden SchmidtPeople Who Love PeepholesBig Girls Don't Throw FoodNine Magic FingersA Giant Cat Holding a ChurroThe Squat and the HoverThose Fancy Japanese ToiletsThank You For The IntercourseFrodo's HeadshotsA Fishbowl Full of Glass EyesWhat A Lovely Landing StripOne False Move, Zimbabwe!Slowly and In A Circular FashionA Possum on ChemoThe Duchess of Dull-in-SackSips, Sonnets and SodomyNot In My Mouth!The War Against GingivitisPalmdale, EchGrandma's PieMr. Hose Says "Yes"Why We Gave Up WomenThe Straw In My Donut HoleOh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Season 10
I Changed My Mind About the MilkA Big Bag of DogFour Balls, Two Bats and One MittYou Do Know What The Lollipop Is ForThat's Not What They Call It In AmsterdamFerrets, Attack!Avoid The Chinese MustardSomething My Gynecologist SaidI Scream When I PeeOne Nut JohnsonGive Santa a Tail-HoleWelcome to AlancrestGrab A Feather And Get In LineRun, Steven Staven! Run!Paint It, Pierce It or Plug ItAdvantage: Fat, Flying BabyThrogwarten Middle School MysteriesThe 9:04 From PembertonBig Episode. Someone Stole A SpoonBazinga! That's From a TV ShowAnother Night With Neil DiamondMy Bodacious VidaliaCows, Prepare to be Tipped
Season 11
NangnangnangnangI Think I Banged Lucille BallThis Unblessed BiscuitClank, Clank, Drunken SkankAlan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003Justice in Star-Spangled Hot PantsSome Kind of Lesbian ZombieMr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.Numero Uno Accidente LawyerOn Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!Tazed In The Lady NutsBaseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.Bite Me, Supreme CourtThree Fingers of Crème de MentheCab Fare and a Bottle of PenicillinHow to Get Rid of Alan HarperWelcome Home, JakeWest Side StoryLan Mao Shi Zai Wuding ShangLotta Delis in Little ArmeniaDial 1-900-Mix-A-LotOh, Wald-e, Good Times Ahead
Season 12
The Ol' Mexican SpinachA Chic Bar in IbizaGlamping in a YurtThirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-EightOontz, Oontz, OontzAlan Shot a Little GirlSex With an Animated Ed AsnerFamily, Bublé, Deep-Fried TurkeyBouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, LyndseyHere I Come, Pants!For Whom the Booty CallsA Beer-Battered Rip-OffBoompa Loved His HookersDon't Give a Monkey a GunOf Course He's Dead