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Kinda Like Necrophilia is the 10th episode of Season 5. It aired on November 26, 2007.

Summary[]

Alan finds out that Charlie stole his high school girlfriend, so he sets out to even the score.

Plot[]

When Jake is dumped by his first girlfriend, Alan relates his own experience from twenty years ago with a girl named Charity in an attempt to lift Jake's spirits. Charlie, on the other hand, simply recommends that Jake ask out the prettiest girl in class because "the prettiest ones rarely get asked out" since most boys are afraid of rejection. Alan, after relating his own tale of woe to his son, decides to call Charity and find out why he was dumped. Charlie points out that drinking and drunk dialing at two in the night is a bad idea, but Alan calls anyway. Charity then tells Alan to ask Charlie why she dumped him. Charlie has already fled the scene when Alan turns to ask. Alan, now realizing that his own brother stole his girlfriend, explodes at Charlie and vows revenge.

Alan's opportunity arises when Gabrielle shows up at the front door complaining that Charlie won't answer her calls. Alan takes advantage of her appearance and sympathizes with her plight. Alan and Gabrielle have a date that Charlie walks in on, and Charlie shames Alan for "stealing his girl", pointing out how childish it is to seek revenge after twenty odd years. The next day, Charlie extracts an apology from Alan but insists that Alan continue to date Gabrielle.

When things get intimate between Alan and Gabrielle, he finds that she's extremely cold, as she lies on the bed like a corpse, telling Alan to "get it over with." Alan flees and confronts Charlie that night, pointing out that Charlie was just trying to dump Gabrielle. Charlie confesses, saying "I didn't want to hurt her feelings" and points out that it's "kind of like necrophilia, isn't it?" Alan asks, "we're even, right?" Later, Charlie introduces Alan to his latest girlfriend Charity, Alan's "stolen" girlfriend from twenty years ago. As Charlie and Charity head for the bedroom, Charlie remarks that "Now, we're even." Alan then can be heard screaming "I HATE YOU!!!!!" from a distance.

Cast[]

Quotes[]

  • Alan: (echoing from distance) I hate you!

Trivia[]

This was the last episode aired prior to the 2007-2008 writers' strike.

  • Evelyn does not appear in this episode.

Title quotation from[]

Charlie, about how Gabrielle behaves in bed.

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Season 2
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