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Episodes, Season Finale, Season 11

Oh, Wald-e, Good Times Ahead

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Oh, Wald-e, Good Times Ahead is the 22nd and final episode of Season 11. It aired on May 8, 2014.

Summary[edit | edit source]

Alan confesses his true identity to Larry, thus making him call off the wedding. Then, Alan proposes to Gretchen, who accepts it. Meanwhile, Lyndsey goes through a mental breakdown when she relizes that she lost both Alan and Larry.

Plot[edit | edit source]

Gretchen accepts Alan's proposal, while Larry breaks up with Lyndsey after learning that Alan lied about being Jeff Strongman and that Lyndsey never told him Alan was her old boyfriend. Larry does forgive Alan since he is going to be his brother-in-law, while Lyndsey becomes mentally broken, upon realizing that two men that had proposed to her, have left her to her miserable fate.

Using Larry and Lyndsey's wedding cake and food, Alan and Gretchen have their ceremony at Walden's beach house. Larry gets mad when he finds out that Alan and Lyndsey cheated on him, so Walden pushes him off the deck to buy time. Lyndsey shows up drunk and lands in the wedding cake. Gretchen's ex-husband Derek (Brad Paisley) then shows up thanks to Lyndsey calling him, and he wants her back. Unsure of her feelings for her ex, Gretchen leaves with him to figure things out, leaving Alan heartbroken and confused. Regardless, Walden admits that he wants Alan to continue living at the beach house with him, as the two have a chat on the couch. They make a pact to go back to the way things were when they met three years ago: just two friends hanging out.

Cast[edit | edit source]

Title Quotation From[edit | edit source]

Walden to his robot, WALD-E, when he realizes the robot has a funny personality.

Guest Starring[edit | edit source]

Quotes[edit | edit source]

  • Lyndsey: We can go in the other room and you can play with them.
  • Larry: Huh? Really? In the middle of the day?
  • Lyndsey: Mm-hmm.
  • Larry: Wait a minute. Who's Alan Harper?
  • Alan: Uh, I am gonna answer that, but before I do What do you say, Gretchie? Will you marry me?
  • Gretchen: Yes.
  • Alan: Oh, my God! You've made me the-the happiest man in the world. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. A-And for your question, Larry, I just want to say that everything you've known about me is a lie. My real name is Alan.
  • Larry: That's okay. My real name is Lawrence.
  • Alan: All right, this is gonna be a lot harder than I thought. Um, uh, Lyndsey is my ex-girlfriend. When you and she got together, I made up a fake name so that I could meet you and stay close to Lyndsey. But then it turns out I actually like you more than I like Lyndsey.
  • Larry: I like you more than Lyndsey, too!
  • Lyndsey: What the hell is happening here?!
  • Larry: So your name's not really Jeff Strongman, it's Alan Harper, and you used to date Lyndsey?
  • Alan: For four years.
  • Larry: Did you know about this?
  • Lyndsey: Yes. He was my boyfriend. But-but I'm with you now, and only you.
  • Alan: A-And I'm really, really sorry.
  • Larry: Oh, save it, Jeff-- if that's even your real name.
  • Alan: I think I made it pretty clear it's not, but o-okay.
  • Gretchen: I told Alan that I thought he should tell you the truth, because I thought you deserved to know.
  • Larry: How could you keep this from me? I would never lie to you. This is unbelievable!
  • Lyndsey: I never wanted any of this to happen.
  • Larry: Well, it did-- and now I've lost my two best friends. And this time I'm not talking about your boobs. I don't want to see either one of you again. And I'm still not talking about your boobs! The wedding's off!
  • Lyndsey: Larry, wait!
  • Alan: Oh, God, see? This is exactly why I didn't want to tell him. Now both Lyndsey and Larry hate me, and I've ruined the lives of two wonderful people. I'll never forget the look on-- ooh, boobs.
  • Walden: I wish I could. What's going on?
  • Alan: Oh, this is all my fault. I should have just been honest and told the truth right from the start-- lying is never the answer. Ooh, I know, I'll tell him I'm sick. What's a trendy illness?
  • Larry: Hey, Alan.
  • Alan: Oh, hey, hey, Larry!
  • Larry: I don't have a weapon.
  • Walden: Hi. I'm Walden, Alan's friend. Uh, just act like I'm not here, and punch like no one's watchin'. And action.
  • Alan: So, you, uh, you said you wanted to talk?
  • Walden: No, no, no, louder.
  • Alan: I'm sorry. What?
  • Walden: Louder. There's a lot of ambient noise in here.
  • Alan: So, so, you said you wanted to talk?
  • Larry: Yeah, I actually came here to tell you that I forgive you!
  • Walden: No! Cut! Cut! What's Wait, wait, you forgive him?
  • Larry: Yeah, I realized all this anger isn't good. I had to let it all go.
  • Walden: No! He's not gonna learn his lesson if you forgive him. The only way he's gonna learn a lesson is through pain and suffering and possibly losing a tooth.
  • Larry: No, no. He's gonna be my brother-in-law and make an honest woman out of Gretchen.
  • Alan: She's not gonna be an honest woman on our wedding night.
  • Larry: That's the guy I know and love who's banging my sister.
  • Alan: I do love banging your sister.
  • Walden: No, the only banging I want to see is you banging his face! Oh, that didn't come out right.
  • Alan: Gretchen is the most amazing woman I've ever met. I-I just have to scrape together enough money for the wedding.
  • Larry: Oh, I know what you mean-- mine and Lyndsey's was costing me a fortune. I already paid for the flowers, the cake, the tux.
  • Walden: Too bad you can't just take his wedding.
  • Alan: Or can I?
  • Walden: I was kidding.
  • Alan: Well, why not? I mean, this cup says "Peter" on it, but Peter wasn't there to get it.
  • Larry: I'm not gonna use it. Me and Lyndsey are through, so you might as well.
  • Walden: You can't mooch a wedding that you just destroyed.
  • Alan: know. How great is that? Classic Alan Harper.
  • Larry: Jeff Strongman. Mm. I don't know how I didn't see through it sooner. It's such an obviously made-up name. Yeah. Jeff.
  • Walden: Uh, hey, I just wanted to say that it's, um. it's pretty big of you to forgive Alan the way you did. I mean, after hearing that he was still sleeping with Lyndsey when you two were dating is apparently something you're hearing for the first time right now.
  • Larry: Are you freakin' kidding me? They were cheating?! I'll kill him!
  • Walden: Larry, Larry, I'm sorry.
  • Larry: For what?
  • Walden: This. Okay, let's get this show on the road!
  • Alan: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What-What's the rush?
  • Walden: Oh, uh, I accidentally told Larry that you and Lyndsey were cheating on him, so he wanted to kill you so I pushed him off the deck.
  • Alan: Let's go! Showtime! Chop, chop! Come on!
  • Walden: Oh, wow, so pensive.
  • Gretchen: Where's my brother?
  • Walden: Oh. Uh, he was overcome with emotion. So he hit the beach. Uh, but don't worry. I'm filming it. Oh, by the way, if you trip on your dress and accidentally flash us, just go with it.
  • Lyndsey: I object!
  • Alan: Lyndsey? Lyndsey, Lyndsey, you can't be here.
  • Lyndsey: Aren't I a pretty, pretty bride, Alan?
  • Alan: Yes. You look insanely beautiful. Uh, now let's turn you around and get you in a cab. How 'bout
  • Lyndsey: No! This was supposed to be my day! My wedding! My groom! My f Wait. Those are my flowers. That's my food! Those are my linens.
  • Walden: That's my I think she was gonna say "cake"!
  • Alan: So, uh so where were we?
  • Derek: Gretchen?
  • Gretchen: Derek?
  • Alan: Who's this guy?
  • Gretchen: He's my ex-husband. Oh, come on! What are you doing here?
  • Derek: Some crazy lady called and said you were getting married. Well, actually, what she said was, "Gretchen, pretty, pretty brid"" followed by two minutes of intense vomiting.
  • Walden: Pretty sure that was her.
  • Lyndsey: Boo-ya!
  • Derek: Gretchen, I know I made some horrible mistakes. I drank too much, I wrecked your truck, I cheated on you with your best friend. In your truck. While I was drunk. Which is why I wrecked it.
  • Walden: Lose your dog and you got a country song.
  • Derek: I wouldn't know. I'm more into hip-hop. I miss you, baby. I want you back.
  • Alan: Hey, Derek, if you want her back, you're gonna have to go through me.
  • Derek: Fine by me.
  • Alan: And him.
  • Derek: Look, seeing you in that white dress right before I beat up two goobers reminds me of our wedding. But this time the cake's not in the shape of Dale Jr., which is a huge oversight.
  • Gretchen: Derek.
  • Alan: Derek You're not actually considering this, are you?
  • Gretchen: I don't know. I'm so confused. I mean, Derek and I have so much history together. This is really hard.
  • Derek: That's what she said.
  • Alan: (Gasps)
  • Walden: That's what they say.
  • Gretchen: I'm sorry, Alan. I-I at least have to talk to him.
  • Alan: Gretchen, wait!
  • Alan: Gretchen called. She said it's not over. She's just sorting things out.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  • Evelyn: (To Alan, after seeing how cheap Gretchen is) My God! You've found your soul mate!

Trivia[edit | edit source]

Gallery[edit | edit source]

Two and a Half Men Episodes
Season 1
Pilot • Big Flappy Bastards • Go East On Sunset Until You Reach The Gates Of Hell • If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going To Take A Nap • The Last Thing You Want To Do Is Wind Up With A Hump • Did You Check With The Captain Of The Flying Monkeys? • If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake • Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without A Snoot-ful • Phase One, Complete • Merry Thanksgiving • Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor • Camel Filters And Pheromones • Sarah Like Puny Alan • I Can't Afford Hyenas • Round One To The Hot Crazy Chick • That Was Saliva, Alan • Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats • An Old Flame With A New Wick • I Remember The Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You • Hey, I Can Pee Outside In The Dark • No Sniffing, No Wowing • My Doctor Has A Cow Puppet • Just Like Buffalo • Can You Feel My Finger?
Season 2
Back Off, Mary Poppins • Enjoy Those Garlic Balls • A Bag Full of Jawea • Go Get Mommy's Bra • Bad News from the Clinic • The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance • A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana • Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers • Yes, Monsignor • The Salmon Under My Sweater • Last Chance to See Those Tattoos • A Lungful of Alan • Zejdz z Moich Wlosów a.k.a. Get Off My Hair • Those Big Pink Things With Coconuts • Smell the Umbrella Stand • Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth? • Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam! • It Was Mame, Mom • A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise • I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey • A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On • That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother • Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab • Does This Smell Funny to You?
Season 3
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts • Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover • Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark • Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs • We Called It Mr. Pinky • Hi, Mr. Horned One • Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop • That Voodoo That I Do Do • Madame and Her Special Friend • Something Salted and Twisted • Santa's Village of the Damned • That Special Tug • Humiliation is a Visual Medium • Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded • My Tongue Is Meat • Ergo, The Booty Call • The Unfortunate Little Schnauser • The Spit-Covered Cobbler • Golly Moses, She's a Muffin • Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro • And the Plot Moistens • Just Once With Aunt Sophie • Arguments for the Quickie • That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Season 4
Working for Caligula • Who's Vod Kanockers? • The Sea is a Harsh Mistress • A Pot Smoking Monkey • A Live Woman of Proven Fertility • Apologies for the Frivolity • Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head • Release the Dogs • Corey's Been Dead for an Hour • Kissing Abraham Lincoln • Walnuts and Demerol • Castrating Sheep in Montana • Don't Worry, Speed Racer • That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami • My Damn Stalker • Young People Have Phlegm Too • I Merely Slept with a Commie • It Never Rains in Hooterville • Smooth as a Ken Doll • Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot • Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous • Mr. McGlue's Feedbag • Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin' • Prostitutes and Gelato
Season 5
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom • Media Room Slash Dungeon • Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo • City of Great Racks • Putting Swim Fins on a Cat • Help Daddy Find His Toenail • The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room • Is There a Mrs. Waffles? • Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids • Kinda Like Necrophilia • Meander to Your Dander • A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh • The Soil is Moist • Winky-Dink Time • Rough Night in Hump Junction • Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty • Fish in a Drawer • If My Hole Could Talk • Waiting for the Right Snapper
Season 6
Taterhead is Our Love Child • Pie Hole, Herb • Damn You, Eggs Benedict • The Flavin' and the Mavin' • A Jock Strap In Hell • It's Always Nazi Week • Best H.O. Money Can Buy • Pinocchio's Mouth • The Mooch At The Boo • He Smelled The Ham, He Got Excited • The Devil's Lube • Thank God for Scoliosis • I Think You Offended Don • David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie • I'd Like to Start with the Cat • She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime • The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? • My Son's Enormous Head • The Two Finger Rule • Hello, I am Alan Cousteau • Above Exalted Cyclops • Sir Lancelot's Litter Box • Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth • Baseball Was Better With Steroids
Season 7
818-jklpuzo • Whipped Unto The Third Generation • Mmm, fish. Yum. • Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator • For The Sake of The Child • Give Me Your Thumb • Untainted by Filth • Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. • Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair • That's Why They Call It "Ball Room" • Warning, It's Dirty • Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste • Yay, No Polyps! • Crude and Uncalled For • Aye, Aye, Captain Douche • Tinkle Like a Princess • I Found Your Moustache • Ixnay On The Oggie Day • Keith Moon Is Vomiting In His Grave • I Called Him Magoo • Gumby with a Pokey • This Is Not Gonna End Well
Season 8
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud • A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer • A Pudding-Filled Cactus • Hookers, Hookers, Hookers • The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel • Twanging Your Magic Clanger • The Crazy Bitch Gazette • Springtime on a Stick • A Good Time in Central Africa • Ow, Ow, Don't Stop • Dead from the Waist Down • Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead • Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup • Lookin' for Japanese Subs • Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak • That Darn Priest
Season 9
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt • People Who Love Peepholes • Big Girls Don't Throw Food • Nine Magic Fingers • A Giant Cat Holding a Churro • The Squat and the Hover • Those Fancy Japanese Toilets • Thank You For The Intercourse • Frodo's Headshots • A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes • What A Lovely Landing Strip • One False Move, Zimbabwe! • Slowly and In A Circular Fashion • A Possum on Chemo • The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack • Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy • Not In My Mouth! • The War Against Gingivitis • Palmdale, Ech • Grandma's Pie • Mr. Hose Says "Yes" • Why We Gave Up Women • The Straw In My Donut Hole • Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Season 10
I Changed My Mind About the Milk • A Big Bag of Dog • Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt • You Do Know What The Lollipop Is For • That's Not What They Call It In Amsterdam • Ferrets, Attack! • Avoid The Chinese Mustard • Something My Gynecologist Said • I Scream When I Pee • One Nut Johnson • Give Santa a Tail-Hole • Welcome to Alancrest • Grab A Feather And Get In Line • Run, Steven Staven! Run! • Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It • Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby • Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries • The 9:04 From Pemberton • Big Episode. Someone Stole A Spoon • Bazinga! That's From a TV Show • Another Night With Neil Diamond • My Bodacious Vidalia • Cows, Prepare to be Tipped
Season 11
Nangnangnangnang • I Think I Banged Lucille Ball • This Unblessed Biscuit • Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank • Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 • Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants • Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie • Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. • Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer • On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer! • Tazed In The Lady Nuts • Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. • Bite Me, Supreme Court • Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe • Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin • How to Get Rid of Alan Harper • Welcome Home, Jake • West Side Story • Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang • Lotta Delis in Little Armenia • Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot • Oh, Wald-e, Good Times Ahead
Season 12
The Ol' Mexican Spinach • A Chic Bar in Ibiza • Glamping in a Yurt • Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight • Oontz, Oontz, Oontz • Alan Shot a Little Girl • Sex With an Animated Ed Asner • Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey • Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey • Here I Come, Pants! • For Whom the Booty Calls • A Beer-Battered Rip-Off • Boompa Loved His Hookers • Don't Give a Monkey a Gun • Of Course He's Dead
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