Charlie notices an ex has a child that looks remarkably like him.
Plot[]
Charlie, Alan and Jake are at the Malibu Coffee Shop when they meet Chrissy, a woman Charlie dated about eight or nine years earlier. She’s not alone, because she has her “son” Chuck with her who looks suspiciously like Charlie. In addition, Chrissy tells Charlie and Alan that Chuck is also “quite the piano player”, like Charlie.
Later that day, back home, Alan gives Charlie a hard time because Chuck looked a lot like him and appears to be his son. Charlie contradicts this and explains Alan that he never has unprotected sex, although he didn’t know condoms are only 98% effective. When Charlie stops by at Russell’s Drugs & Sundries, pharmacist Russell confirms him the news about the condoms.
That evening, Charlie is contemplating on his deck about Chuck. When he falls asleep, he dreams of father-son moments he would have with him. In the dream, when Charlie and Chuck arrive home, they’re greeted by a bunch of other kids Charlie fathered as well. Charlie wakes up wondering what to do.
The next day, Charlie pays Jake a visit in his room to ask him if he’s a good role model. Jake replies that his deprived way of life is actually a good example to follow. Charlie asks him how he would feel about getting a nephew, referring to Chuck.
After stopping by again at Russell’s to buy a wiffle ball bat, an eyeglass repair kit and malted milk balls, Charlie heads to Chrissy’s apartment to hand her the stuff as a gift and ask her about Chuck. Although Chrissy tells him that he’s not the father, the implication still exists that he is.
Back home, Evelyn is having coffee with Alan and Jake in the kitchen. Berta mistakenly mentions Chuck and Evelyn tells Charlie that he shouldn’t doubt what to do and be grateful for being a deadbeat dad. This gives Charlie the idea to pay his dues and makes him stop by at Chrissy’s a second time. He brought her a check, and he plans on sending her a new one every month to show his gratitude for raising Chuck on her own and support her financially. On the way out, he crosses a woman in the elevator that turns out to be Chuck’s, or Jeremy’s, real mother Brenda. Chrissy was only babysitting “Chuck”, dressed him in a bowling shirt and gave him a fake name in order to fool (and guilt) Charlie. With her new check at hand she decides that her babysitting days are over.
At the end, Charlie and Alan are dropping off Jake at Judith’s. Charlie notices that Clive the exterminator, Craig the water guy and William the mail man, who are walking in and out, carry a strong resemblance to Jake.
Charlie: What I've wanted to ask you is, do you think I've been a good role model?
Jake: Are you kidding? You drink, you gamble, you have different women here practically every night. You're the best role model a guy could want!
Trivia[]
Charlie and Chuck are both nicknames for Charles.
This is the first appearance of Russell, Charlie's pharmacist. He owns his own drug store Russell’s Drugs & Sundries.
To mock Charlie about Chuck, Alan sings Cat’s in the Cradle (1974) by Harry Chapin or its cover version Cats in the Cradle (1992) by Ugly Kid Joe.
When Charlie dreams about father-son moments he has with Chuck, Best Friend by Harry Nilsson can be heard. This was the theme song for the TV series The Courtship of Eddie’s Father (1969-1972).
Chuck’s real name is Jeremy, although it is unknown if he was aware of Chrissy’s plan to dupe Charlie into having a son.
Title quotation from[]
Charlie jokingly stating that Jake is his and Alan's son, commenting on Alan’s reasoning that Chuck is automatically his son because he hasn’t seen Chrissy in eight or nine years, which happens to be Chuck’s age too.
